Keep those comments coming!

Ethan, your time has finally come!

Everyone else can read Ethan's comments here and here but for anyone who wants a quick overview, Ethan's basic argument is that rather than avoiding the Religious Right, I should engage with them, and try to convince them that what they are doing is not right. He also suggests that my disengagement from God and some aspects of Judaism might be misguided. That's a very short summary and I do encourage anyone who reads this to click through and read his actual comments, which are detailed and respectful while clearly disagreeing with me in some fundamental (but not fundamentalist) ways.

Ethan, I can understand how a disenchantment with the Reform Movement could push someone towards the Orthodox, especially the Modern Orthodox, who do embrace thought and questioning in ways that previous generations never did. In some ways, we're opposite sides of the same coin, or whatever metaphor you want to choose for people who perceived the same thing but reacted to it differently. Here's my response to what you have said:

1) I realize that many Reform Jews are poorly educated about Judaism and wouldn't even know where to look something up if they had a question, which they generally don't because many don't spend a whole lot of time thinking about religion. I am not one of these. I had a good basic education at home and at Hebrew School and a very intellectual Rabbi growing up. I also have a BA in Religion, and I've taught Hebrew School (and attended the requisite conferences) for a total of 9 years at three different schools. I have a shelf full of Religion books at home and near-constant access to the Rabbi, Cantor and Educator at work for any more-detailed questions I might have. Plus Google, of course, and the ability to tell right-wing garbage from real scholarship. When I'm not sure why Jews do something, I make sure I find out. And while I haven't spent lots of time studying Talmud, I am fairly conversant with Leviticus.

2) There is a huge difference between choosing food for scientific reasons (yes, my health, but also the health of the world--I try to eat local produce as much as I can and part of the reason I gave up meat is that meat production uses a lot more energy, and causes more pollution, than the production of plant-based foods. I also try to eat products that are ethically produced, free trade, and where possible, are processed by unionized workers.) and kashrut. Have you read Leviticus 11? It's nonsense. Never in the chapter does it say why we should only eat animals that chew the cud, only that we should. And it makes statements that are blatantly contrary to science. If I were a really good blogger I'd take out my TANACH and footnote my arguments, but I'm a tired blogger so you're just going to have to look at the whole chapter if you want to check up on me. It says in there that a bat is a bird. A bat! Do you know how hard it is to explain to children why it says that a bat is a bird, and why it says that a hare chews its cud?

I can't read that and take it seriously. You can't tell me that one of the birds I shouldn't eat is a bat, and then expect me to listen when you say I shouldn't eat lobster because it doesn't have fins and scales. Who cares? If it had fins and scales, it probably wouldn't be so delicious. And honestly, I can eat locusts but not lobster? This is not logical.

Again, I understand why kashrut can be comforting to some, and that it brings ritual to your life. But to me it means basing one's life on something that was written a long time ago and no longer makes sense. I have examined it (even tried it once), and I reject it. And don't even get me started on the milk and meat thing.

3) Spiritual differences between women and men may exist. This does not explain to me why women cannot wear trousers or kippot or read from the Torah. It tells me nothing of why my husband (or father) should own me. Or why I should cover my hair. Or why men thank God every morning for not having been made a woman. Women are oppressed in many observant Jewish communities. Think of the women who cannot get remarried because their legal ex-husbands will not give them a get. This is not okay.

4) But then we come to strategy. You make an interesting point that arguing with extremists on their own terms might be more convincing. That's true. But as they wouldn't respect my Jewishness, my education, or my right to discuss the matter, it's a difficult proposition. It seems much more sensible to me for Israel to cut off their special privileges.

On the other hand, you're right that Progressive Jews should be trying to make a more attractive option. Some are, such as Kolot Chayeinu in Brooklyn, NY. One option I have considered is to try to grow a community like theirs, which is vibrant and thoughtful and full of scholarship and activism.

Part of what this blog is doing is helping me to engage with these questions in a more thoughtful way. I want to hear the arguments so that I can consider them and refine my position. I also want my view of Judaism to be out there. The more people who read this, the more people will learn that there are well-educated, thoughtful, moral, involved people who are atheists and who are progressives and who are trying to work all of this out.

So I thank you, readers, for giving me a forum in which to do this, and for keeping me on my toes with the thoughtful comments. Keep 'em coming!

You don't own me

After my earlier rant, Eliezer Pennywhistler commented:

Unless you have also ejected Kol Yisrael Arevim Ze-ba-Zeh from your Judaism, you are fully associated with them.

Don't keep running away. Deal with it.

I've been thinking about this all day for two reasons.

1) I think I do want to eject kol Yisrael arevim ze-ba-zeh ("all of Israel are responsible for each other's actions") from my Judaism. I think that was my point about Reform Judaism: I thought we already did. Why do I have to own the actions of people who wouldn't deign to touch me? Why can't I stand up, as moderate Muslims have done with their extremists, and say, "This is not Judaism as I know it?" And more than that, why do I have to put up with the world seeing them as the "Real Jews" and me as something less? 

What this does is allow THEM to own US. It is the language that implies that I could be a better Jew, that there are degrees of Judaism, that offends me constantly. And it's what bothers me about the way we, as Reform Jews, teach our children. We lead a secular life that sometimes doesn't even include attendance at services or any kind of prayer, then send our children to a school where they are told that Jews do this and that--things of which they may never have heard before--and we wonder why they grow up to marry non-Jews. We teach them that it is wrong to discriminate, that women are equal to men, that lobster is delicious and Shabbat is meaningless, and then let the world believe that the Orthodox are the "real Jews." Well, then--what does that make us? If we are not real Jews, what are we doing? And if we are real Jews--if we can be real Jews without sexism and kashrut and Shabbat--then what is Judaism? Or Jewishness?

2) Which brings me to Eliezer's second point. He accuses me of running away. Oddly, he is the first person to do this. And it makes me wonder.

Clearly, I am running away. I have described this (but maybe not here) as my mid-life crisis. That, I will own. And I know this atheism was born of a repulsion I feel toward the Religious Right. So in that regard, I am running away. I'm running away from being perceived as a Religious Jew--a title that I previously fought to have applied to me as a believing Reform Jew, but which now makes me think of hatred, violence and oppression. And in general I prefer the "deal with it" approach to the "running away" approach.

I would also argue that this blog is my attempt to deal with it. I am searching for the other Jews who believe as I do: 

• That equal rights, freedom and dignity for all is essential
• That careful choices about eating can be made on a scientific, rather than textual, basis
• That God probably doesn't exist, but Torah and Talmud do, and there is wisdom in those texts--wisdom that comes from people who have lived before us.
• That questioning is the primary responsibility of the Religious
• That people should be judged based on their actions above all else

because I want to be part of a community, and I want to enjoy the joy and comfort I have taken from rituals all my life. And also because I want to have a voice in the larger Jewish discussion, and I think many voices are louder than one. I want the world to know that the Orthodox are not the only Jews, that Progressive Jews are just as authentic as anyone, and that we, as Progressive Jews, reject the behavior of those who use Judaism as a vehicle for hatred. We reject them based on their actions and we reject their assertion that their desire to control other people has anything to do with God or Judaism. 

So, faced with extremists, my response is, "You don't own me, and I will not own your behavior. I am NOT responsible for what you do and you may not blame my religion for your actions. Neither may you tell me what to do or how to understand the texts we share. I am a smart, well educated, thoughtful Jewess, and I can make my own decisions about where to pray and how to dress and what to eat. If you can't, that's your problem."

Why do we let the Orthodox control us?

I just read this excellent article on Slate.com. It's about the effect of the Ultra-Orthodox on Jewish life in Israel. I related to this article way too deeply, because in some ways it expresses my frustrations with the Reform Movement.

Why do we allow the Orthodox to be the keepers of "real" Judaism? Reform Judaism should be like Protestantism. A definite choice was made to separate from Orthodoxy and to make decisions based on common sense, scientific knowledge and reason rather than ancient tradition and superstition. So why the return? Why does a female Rabbi who wears trousers and a kippah when leading services also bow during the Barechu and insist on celebrating a second day of Rosh Hashana? Why must we show respect to our fellow Jews, even when they are wrong, even when they spit on us and abuse children walking to school? Is it because of the Holocaust? Because Hitler saw no difference between us, we must band together even with people who would grant me no rights as a human being? We're talking about people who would not consider my marriage valid or my daughter a Jew. I don't wish violence upon them, but neither do I wish to be associated with them in any way.

This is what is driving my retreat from Judaism and my alienation from God. I don't want to be associated with the religious if being religious means fearing women, disavowing science and trampling human rights. Why does it feel like my only two choices are religion which moves ever rightward and reason, which turns its back just as forcefully on ritual, celebration and community?

I want to be--no, I am--a Progressive Jew. I believe in science, individual choice and equal rights for all. I love ritual, beauty and community. Why can't I have both?

Note: There is a follow up to this post here.